Sweety Moment
by TheLaziestManAlive
Summary: noun: sweety moment a moment where ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical Sweetypie, causing him or her to act in an illogical, self-destructive manner, i.e., like a Sweetypie (Parody of The Boondocks, rated M)
1. Serf War

It was another ordinary day in Pure Heart Valley, and Farmer Bun, carrying carrot seeds in his cupped hands, headed to his farm to care for his crops.

But, he unexpectedly bumped arms with someone, spilling his seeds onto the ground. And who would the culprit be other than Cluckins?

"Hey, watch where you're walkin', sweety," said Farmer Bun.

"What'd you say, sweety?" Cluckins responded.

"Watch closely." King Snugglemagne ignored the fact that the story already has a perfectly good narrator. "You are about to experience a Sweety moment."

Farmer Bun and Cluckins had their gazes on each other like rams butting heads. "Webster defines a Sweety moment," continued Snugglemagne, "as a moment where ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical Sweetypie."

"Ay, whatchu say, bitch sweety?" Said Farmer Bun to the now enraged chicken.

"Ay, try it, sweety!" Cluckins retorted.

"I just might, you corn seed swallowing bitch!"

"Bet none of those seeds come from that little baby carrot of yours!"

"This causes him or her," the king overlapped, "to act in an illogical and self-destructive manner, i.e., like a Sweetypie."

Without hesitation, Cluckins leaped onto Farmer Bun and made pathetic attempts at left and right hooks, Farmer Bun doing the same. This little catfight went on until both were ironically panting like dogs.

"Sweety moments are unpredictable." Finally, those two amateur boxers of Sweetypies came to a realization.

"Hey, wait, wait! This is stupid!" said Cluckins, removing himself from on top of his former enemy. Farmer Bun couldn't help but agree.

"Hey, you're right, Cluckins," said the latter. "Look, let's put the hands away and go on about our business."

"Freeze!" Said a deep, gruff voice. Both Cluckins and Farmer Bun looked to see a certain trio ready to toss the two around like volleyballs. By the time they were finished, both were bruised like bananas and were striped like zebras.

Much to the original narrator's annoyance, Snugglemagne still carried on with his lecture.

"But, they all end up bad. If they had their own category, sweety moments would be the third leading killer of Sweetypies behind pork chops and F.E.M.A. It's a fact.

"Now, let's see how a Sweety moment affects someone _not_ of Pure Heart Valley." Mao Mao, Badgerclops, and Adorabat were walking away from their latest heroic deed when Mao Mao bumped his leg into that clover-cheeked frog, Chubbum, prompting him to turn around.

"Hey, watch where you're walking, bitch!" said the provoked frog towards his potential enemy.

"What did you just- wait for a second," the sheriff chuckled. "I wasn't born here!" Mao Mao said, his chuckle developing into laughter. Badgerclops chimed in before resuming their patrol. Chubbum was unsatisfied, to say the least.

"Hey," told the frog, "don't you walk away from me! This is a perfectly good opportunity to throw your life away!" Mao Mao and Badgerclops laughed the situation off before resuming their patrol. Adorabat, on the otherwise hand, felt... differently.


	2. Flockblocked

"Some people are afraid of zombies or vampires," Snugglemagne said. Damn it, Snugglemagne… "but that the two things Sweetypies fear most are sweeties and sweet moments. Adorabat was normally as far from a sweety as a Sweetypie could be, but everybody knew that the Sweetypie's spirit is weakened during a sweety moment."

Adorabat still a bit peeved by the short-lived encounter with Chubbum, but she managed to let it go. She and Mao Mao went out to feed the birds. They found a flock on the ground, and Adorabat gave a handful of birdseed to them. The birds were beginning to feed on the child's hand but were ambushed by a pair of legs that would scare them away.

"What the-?!" Adorabat, looking defeated at the moment, looked up to see Pinky walking across that flock's spot. "Hey!" the bat called out, "you can't just do that, you… meanie! I was gonna feed those birds."

Pinky barely responded. Why should _he_ be interested in Adorabat's whining? That's when Mao Mao decided to add his two cents. "Come on," he said, "she had birdseed in her hand and everything!" That tore it.

Pinky stomped back towards Adorabat, paying no mind to her guardian. "Fuck you, punk-ass, pussy-ass sweety!" he shouted at her. "Don't you ever in your life try to holla at me, sweety! I'll fuck your piss-eyed ass up, sweety!" Pinky turned around to go about his day, but he wouldn't get off that easy.

Mao Mao reached a hand to comfort Adorabat, but quickly noticed something was… off. She shook rapidly, most notably her head. The tears that slid from her eyes were turning to vapor as the stutters from her mouth grew more nonsensical until finally, she became a whole different person.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SWEETY?!" the transformed bat bellowed. Pinky was really tired of that brat's bitching.

"You know what, motherfucker?" Pinky dreaded returning to his provoker (she provoked _him_?). "Eat a dick, sweety, I'm tired of this-" Before Pinky got to finish his tangent, Adorabat launched the birdseed into his eyes and missile-dove into him, toppling him over to the ground. She stood upon his chest and looked straight into his eyes. Who was the brat now?

"Aw, yeah! Look at you!" She got closer to Pinky's face by the second. "You was poppin' all that good shit just a second ago, then you got pushed to the ground! _You _eat a dick, sweety! _YOU _EAT A DICK!"

After all the words she had to say left her mouth, began to shake, and within seconds, she was back to her old self. Adorabat couldn't believe what she saw.

"Oh… oh, no! Pinky, are you okay? What happened to you?" Adorabat couldn't stop the stream of questions coming from her mouth and Pinky could only answer in stutters.

"Mao Mao, couldn't you stop this?" Mao Mao couldn't even say her name, let alone answer. Adorabat couldn't help but let out one final cry for help. "Isn't there anyone who knows who attacked this guy?!"

Wait, Snugglemagne finally stopped talking!


End file.
